Last Chance Before Suicide
by SuicidalGummyBear-X3
Summary: Let's hope they can find Zim before it's to late... (A/N: Everyone is human and I own nothing!)
1. Moment of Truth

I'm Zim Irken and I'm 17 years old. I go to this lame high School with my best friend Gaz. Gaz is a year younger than me and her brother, Dib, but she has our band mates in the same year with her so she's not a loner or anything…no, that would be me. I mean yea I could hang out with Dib but…I get so nervous around him cause…well I have a crush on him. I have since I first laid my eyes on him, which was back in like the 4th grade.

"Now, please welcome our last act of the night: The Hidden Feelings!" shouted an announcer. See, my band entered this computation without telling me and they picked the song we're doing and…well it's the one song I wrote for when I was ready to tell Dib how I felt, but the chance never comes because him and this girl, Zeta, are an on and off thing…yeah. So my band tricked me, and I didn't realize this until just 10 minutes ago, but it's too late now.

As I walked on stage, my eyes immediately looked toward the first row where Dib was smiling and giving Gaz a thumb up. As if he felt someone staring at him, he looked my way and I quickly looked down blushing. They were letting my band warm up for a moment, and since I knew this song by heart, I risked the chance and barely lifted my head to glance at dib, who was looking at me. He was still looking at me when I heard someone walk up to me. Turning around slightly, I saw Gaz standing beside me.

"You'll do fine, Zim." was all she said before moving to her place on the stage. I saw Dib raise an eyebrow out of the corner of my eye. We were ready to roll.

"Hi, everyone; we're the Hidden Feelings and this song is called Moment of Truth, which I wrote for someone who is here tonight…" I said nervously into the microphone. Without turning around, I gave the band the signal to start.

_"Here we are in the best years of our lives with no way of knowing when the wheel will stop spinning 'Cause we don't know where we're going"_

When I sang, 'because we don't know where we're going, I acted like I was lost.

"_And here we are on the best day of our lives and it's a go, let's make it last, so cheers you all to that 'cause this moment's never coming back."_

I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see Dib's face in case he understood the next part.

_"I used to know his sister but I never knew I loved him 'til the day he laid his eyes on me! Now I'm jumping up and down, he's the only one around and he means every little thing to me!"_

I heard a mutter go throw the crowd as I bounced on the heels of my feet.

_"I've got your picture in my wallet and your phone number to call it and I miss you more whenever I think about you"_

A smile came to my face while I opened my eyes again, as I thought about the time Gaz gave me a picture of Dib saying it'll last longer and the time Dib gave me his number in case anything ever happened when Gaz was hanging out with me.

_"I've got your mixed tape in my Walkman been so long since we've been talking and in a few more days we'll both hook up forever and ever"_

I thought about the time Dib sang all my favorite song and made me a mix tape for my 14th birthday…I still have it. It's been a few months…maybe even a year since we last talked.

_"And here I am on the west coast of America and I've been trying to think for weeks of all the ways to ask you and now I've brought you to the place where I've poured my heart out a million times, for a million reasons to offer it to you"_

I lost track of how many shows we've done at this place, but this is the first one Dib has ever come to! He's usually too busy with Zeta to come. My grip on the mic tightened.

_"I used to know his sister but I never knew I loved him 'til the day he laid his eyes on me! Now I'm jumping up and down, he's the only one around and he means every little thing to me!"_

I could feel my heart breaking when Dib stood up from his seat, didn't even glance at the band or me, and walked toward the door.

_"I've got your picture in my wallet and your phone number to call it and I miss you more whenever I think about you"_

I tried to keep my smile on my face as I felt Gaz's eyes on me.

"_I used to know his sister but I never knew I loved him 'til the day he laid his eyes on me! Now I'm jumping up and down, he's the only one around and he means every little thing to me!"_

I lost all enthusiasm to sing the song. I just poured my heart out, in front of a lot of people, and this is what I get; the feeling of someone ripping out my heart? No thank you.

_"I've got your picture in my wallet and your phone number to call it and I miss you more whenever I think about you"_

I thought about Dib's picture in my wallet and how I should shred it into pieces.

_"I've got your mixed tape in my Walkman been so long since we've been talking and in a few more days, we'll both hook up forever and ever"_

As I let my tears spill down my cheeks, I turned and ran off stage. The stares of my band mates, the crowd…even the boy I just sang my heart out too, who had re taken his seat, again went unnoticed as I ran as fast as my legs could carry me.


	2. One last time

I leaned forward so I could rest with my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath. After running out of the contest, I ran home and decided I need to get the whole thing off my mind; so I went for a run around town…and made a few deliveries.

"Zim, there you are!" I heard the sound of car doors opening and shutting. I turned around to face whoever it was. I saw Gaz and Dib standing there smiling and Gaz was holding a trophy.

"We won, Zim! They said our song was so heart touching…" Gaz explained and trailed off at the end. I just nodded once and turned back toward my house.

"Zim…aren't you happy? We won…" Gaz asked me slowly. I turned back toward her and slowly gave her a smile.

"I'm glade." I said before walking toward my house. I heard someone take a step toward me.

"Come on Gaz, we need to get home." I heard Dib say before I shut my door. I looked around my front room slowly. There was a big picture of a weird monkey that clashed horribly with the pink and purple walls, a TV and a robot, named GIR, I made in the 8th grade for a science fair. GIR doesn't really work right, but I could never fix him to make him just perfect so I just left him in this…crazy little kid mood.

"Hi, GIR…don't bother me okay?" I asked softly before going to my room. I didn't wait to hear his answer; I just wanted to get this over with. As I sat down at my desk, I grabbed paper and pen and wrote one last thing.

'_Dear reader, I'm sorry you had to be the one to find me and I apologize for any mess I made. I do hope everyone can forgive me in due time, but until then I understand._

_~Zim'_

I placed my pen down and placed the paper in the center of my desk. I went to my bathroom that is jointed to my bedroom and pulled out the bottle of pain pills and my hidden razor blade. I poured out a handful of pills before putting the bottle back. I took 3 pills and placed the others on the counter while grabbing my razor.

I slowly took off my black, skin fitting, gloves that I never take off. As I looked at my scars, I started to remember what caused me to make each one of them. My parents, my friends, my school work, my bullies, my stress and now it's all adding up that I will never be good enough for anyone. Not Dib, not Gaz, not the band…no one.

I slowly dragged the razor crossed my skin and watched as my blood slowly started to form to the cut. I started to apply more pressure until I was sure I nicked a vein or something. _I almost feel guilty about the mess…but if they hadn't pushed me so far…_ I thought as I grabbed some more pain killers. _If the cuts don't kill me, the over does sure will…I wonder if Dib and everyone found their letters…_ I thought as I began to feel sluggish. I cleaned off my wrist the best to my abilities before stumbling into my room and falling on my bed.

"Master…?" GIR asked as I motioned him toward me. He crawled up onto the bed and snuggled up to me. I would never normally allow him to, but considering he'll go and most likely live with Gaz after I'm gone…might as all allow it one last time.


	3. The letters

~Dib POV~

"Hey Dib, did you get a letter from Zim?" I heard Gaz ask from behind me. I turned around and showed it to her before sitting down to read it. Gaz copied me and tore into her letter while I took my time opening it.

_'Gaz,_

_ Please don't blame yourself or anyone. If you feel like you must blame someone blame me. It's no one's fault that this happened, truthfully the whole ordeal with the contest finally gave me the strength to say goodbye. This has been looming ever since…I can't even remember. I just wanted you to know that this is my fault. It's my fault not got getting help, it's mine for loving someone who could never love me back. I love you Gazalina, you're my best friend and you're the person who I've told everything too. I hope you enjoy the rest of your life._

_ ~Zim'_

I looked over at Gaz when she gasped. I was shocked to find her crying her eyes out.

"Gaz what's wrong?" She didn't answer me at first just stared at the letter before turning to me.

"We have to get to Zim. He's going to commit suicide!" She said quickly before running toward the door. I grabbed my car keys and the letter Zim wrote me to read later before following her out the door.

It was a 28 minute car drive from our house to Zim's. The front to his house was unlocked and truthfully his place was to cold and silent for my taste. I followed Gaz until I passed a door that I could hear faint sounds behind. I grabbed Gaz's arm before she moved to far and opened the door. We rushed in to see GIR shacking Zim's pale form lightly.

"Master…Master, you have company…master?" GIR kept repeating while 'crying'. I rushed over to Zim while pulling out my cell phone to call 911. Gaz rushed over to a desk that was standing against one of his bedroom walls.

"He knew someone would rush over here…" Gaz explained while holding up a piece of paper. I throw my cell at her.

"Call the hospital, tell them what's going on and to be ready when we get there." I told her quickly while slipping my arms under Zim's, cold, body. I easily carried him out into the car with Gaz following behind us talking into the phone.

"Yes…no…I don't know…you will…great…uh-huh…thank you!" She said while getting into the back with Zim so he didn't go flying all over the road.

"Dib, you better hurry." She said while glaring at me. I glared right back at her.

"You know I will." I said while slamming my driver door shut and starting the engine. The hospital was half an hour away from Zim's house and when we got there they had a stretcher and everything ready. We were lead over to a police officer for questioning.

The whole questioning took 17 minutes and after words we were allowed to go into the waiting room. Gaz sat in a chair placed into a corner and tried to take a light nap. I sat there for a number of minutes watching people rushing to and fro before I remembered the letter.

'_Dib, _

_ I know you're most likely wondering why you got a letter, but the truth is…I love you. I've always liked you since 4__th__ grade and I've always wanted to tell you. I've almost told you more than once before but you were always with Zita. That contest tonight...the song I sang was for you. I wrote it for you and I sang it for you. I realize now that you could never love someone as strange as me. I've already told Gaz not to blame herself or you and I would like it if you would do the same; Please do not blame yourself or anyone else. I hope you have a great life with Zita, and please take care of Gazzy._

_ ~Love, Zim.'_

I sat there stunned until I felt someone place their hand on my arm. I looked over and saw Gaz looking at me.

"You knew about this…you tried to tell me this so many times…" I said, my voice cracking half way through. Gaz looked at me for a moment before nodding.

"I never listened…I ignored you for Zita…" I stated again and again Gaz nodded.

"I'm in love with Zim…" I stated slowly while Gaz lowered her eyes. I felt my eyes widen and my breathe got caught in my throat.

"Oh, god." Was all I could say before I broke down.


	4. What were you thinking?

OMG GUYS, It's here :3 It's finally here *o*

Okay, truth? I've had this typed out on my computer since like...forever...but never uploaded it because I got into ROTG ;-; Please don't hate me, I'll give you a cookie :3  
*hands cookie* We good? Pssh, yeah...I know we good..

* * *

~Dib's POV~

5 hours later, the doctor finally allowed Gaz and me in to see zim. Gaz had started crying again when they told us Zim was stable. I gave a surprised and pained gasp as I throw open the door to Zim's room. In the middle of the hospital bed was Zim. He looked so small and thin, as if he would break at any given moment. Gaz quickly made her away to his bedside while I leaned against the wall by the door.

"Zim, you stupid boy...how could you even think about leaving me in the doomed to hell world?" Gaz said while slapping Zim's hand lightly; she sobbed when she got no response and I silently made my way over.

"Zim…why didn't you tell me how you felt? I mean yeah I was with Zita but…I was with her because I thought I wasn't good enough for you…you were always so happy, so strong…you always held your head up high…like you didn't have a care in the world…" I trained off when I heard a pained moan. I looked toward Zim to see his eyes flickering open. His eyes darted around the room quickly before landing on Gaz, she being closest to his bed, and gave her a weak smile.

"Zim, you're alive!" She stated happily before lightly wrapping him in a hug.

~Zim's POV~

_Ugh, my head…ugh, my wrist…ugh, my stomach…ugh, why does everything hurt? _I thought as I started to wake up.

_Okay, think Zim, think! Where are you? Well, not at home that's for sure. It smells like death and bleach here…oh, hospital._ I thought as I opened my eyes and let them dart around.

_White walls, white floor, white ceiling, purple hair, while cha- wait…purple hair…?_ I turned my head slowly back toward the flash of purple. I blinked slowly at Gaz who was frowning at me with tears in her eyes.

"Hi…" I whispered hesitantly. She looked at me with a glare for a moment.

"What were you thinking, Zim?" She asked quietly.


End file.
